I felt compelled to write this blog post about boundaries, as I often feel as a business owner, it is really hard not only to create our boundaries but to stick to them too.
In the past year, I’ve had clients cross my boundaries many times and many times I’ve not enforced or stuck to my own boundaries.
I’ve had clients call me at weekends, when I’m on holiday and late at night. I’ve had clients decide that they can’t afford their due payment so they’ll have to pay it the following month. I’ve had clients decide that they don’t have to stick to my contract that we both signed. I’ve had clients call and say what they want doing is urgent, and allowing myself to leave the task in hand to go and help with their urgent ‘thing’, when I was already busy for another client. I’ve had clients send me one email, which if hasn’t been replied to within an hour, send another, or a messenger message or a WhatsApp message.
And there has been plenty more!
I think I’m too much of a people pleaser at times, and I love going above and beyond for clients, but when it’s against my own boundaries, then I’m left feeling like I’m being taken advantage of.
I can feel overwhelmed and frustrated and sometimes guilty and even resentment.
In a bid to become better at sticking to my own boundaries with clients, I’ve put together a list of things that will hopefully help the process!
I hope they help you and please share anything else that works for you!
“Healthy boundaries are not walls. They are gates and fences that allow you to enjoy the beauty of your own garden.” -Lydia H. Hall
Be Crystal Clear
This sounds so obvious right! But, I honestly tell my clients as much as possible when we start working together. I send them a contract and ask them to read before signing, but you’ll be surprised at how many boundaries are crossed still.
If you don’t want to work at the weekends, or after a certain time, let your clients know. If you are taking a holiday where you don’t want to work, give them some warning, so they know you won’t be around those days.
If you don’t like answering messages via messenger, WhatsApp, IG, Twitter, emails, texts and phonecalls- let your client know. Make sure you add as much in your contract as you can, or even when you start working with a client, jump on a call and let them know what works for you and find out what works for them!
What automations could you put in place to remind clients of your working hours or how you work? Could you put an auto-responder on your FB page or email letting people know you’ll reply within 1 working day for example?
3. Checking your emails just once a day
So many people in business swear by just checking their emails once or twice a day can do wonders for productivity. If you relay this to your clients, then they’ll at least know that there is no chance of expecting an instant reply. This also stops you getting distracted and concentrating on one task at a time.
4. Take Responsibility
Act like the business owner you are and take responsibility for the decisions you make in YOUR business. If you’ve let clients get away with things once, the likelihood is, they’ll try to do it again. You need to set the boundaries that work for you and your business and not let yourself cross your own line!
Communicate and stand up for your own boundaries. (Harder than it sounds I know, I’ve been there!)
5. Say No
If it isn’t possible, you have the choice to say no. I know this can be tough at times, but we all have the choice. If a friend wants to call over in the middle of a workday but you simply don’t have time, you are able to say so. If a client wants you to drop it all for their urgent request when you are already working on other tasks and you really don’t have the time, then again, you can say no. Of course, I’m not suggesting you be as blunt as that, and I’d always try to offer another solution or time, but sometimes we simply can’t do it.
If a client asks for something to be done late on a Friday afternoon/evening, I’ll politely let them know that I’ll take a look Monday for them, as it’s important for me to switch off and spend time with my family.
6. Let your client know what you need from them
If you have payment terms that need to be stuck to, don’t let clients pass these. The payment schedule set out from the beginning should be stuck to. You are also running a business and have set your terms to suit you. If you had 5 clients that all paid late, where would that leave you?
If you need content or copy from a client by a certain time, again, they need to know this, so you can get on with your work, on schedule. If not met, this can lead to major frustrations and slow work down. So make sure your client knows throughout what is needed from them and by when.
Is it possible your client may have simply forgotten something? A simple reminder may be all it takes to let them know that you have a set of boundaries and so you both know where you stand. Could you give updates, so the client knows if a payment is due, if they are running short on time etc. Again, make sure you are clear in your contract from the start.
8. Be clear about the time required
Make sure you are super clear about the amount of time some tasks can take you. As a Virtual Assistant, some clients seem to think the list of tasks I can get done in 10hours a month is huge. Now, I’m good at what I do, but I’m not a magician. If you are in an industry like mine, if you have used the hours a client has asked you to do, don’t be tempted to do more ‘as a favour’ or ‘to help out’ or ‘finish the list’.
If you are doing something unpaid for one client, it takes you away from another client who will be willing to pay for your services
I’m sure there are plenty more and I’d love to know how you help set and stick to boundaries in your business.
Kate Reynolds is a Relocation Coach, originally from the UK and currently living “down under” in South Australia.
Kate helps courageous ladies to plan their move to a new city/country and re-establish, re-invent themselves in a brand new location.
Kate works alongside her clients, aiming for smooth transitions and happiness. Kate talks from experience as she has moved herself multiple times around the UK and to other countries.
Kate assists her clients with many emotional challenges that crop up within the relocating journey, including, building a social network from scratch, developing a brand new routine, and coping with homesickness.
Her aim is to minimise the overwhelm and assist ladies to start creating the life they want in their new location.
Kate loves nothing more than offering bags of impartial support, encouragement and accountability when it is needed the most!
In my opinion, I wanted to be a mentor for women in business, as I felt having started, owned and sold numerous businesses, I had the experience and skills to help support, show and assist other women in this same position.
I’ve recently read quite a few stories about women having had bad experiences whilst working with coaches and mentors and this can give the industry a really bad name.
There was the lady that signed up over the phone and paid a UK based coach £4000 upfront, with a promise of another two £3000, the following two months. Within a week, the lady had changed her mind and decided that due to personal financial issues, coaching wasn’t for her at that time, or at least this particular coach wasn’t for her and asked for a refund. No contract had been signed. A month later and still no refund, despite numerous messages to this coach.
Another post I’ve come across lately is a lady that had signed up to a coaching package and paid £2000, with another £3000 to follow. They had one session together and the coach failed to deliver the content that had been agreed on before payment had been made. Due to this, the lady in question decided that this wasn’t going to work and asked for a refund and to end the agreement. As above, no contract had been signed. Unfortunately, the coach tried to take the 2nd payment for £3000 without this ladies consent and again ignored messages sent.
These are just two horror stories that I’ve read in the past week. I appreciate that they are just the one side of the story, but this type of immoral behaviour and ignoring requests from clients can give the coaching and mentoring industry a bad name.
I realised that there must be plenty of women who are looking for the right help and support but aren’t sure what to look for in a coach or mentor, so wanted to put my own (opinion based) tips together for you. I’m a business mentor myself and have worked with a few coaches as well as worked with coaches as my client (for my VA business), so hoping this has given me some insight to be able to offer you some help when selecting who you’ll work with!
My Top 10 Tips for choosing a coach or mentor
When you are choosing your coach or mentor, it’s imperative that you ‘gel’ with them. If you don’t feel in your gut right about working with someone, then it may not be right for you. Trust in your instincts and make sure you resonate with this person’s beliefs.
This can be tricky when you are starting out as you don’t always have testimonials. However, someone who is charging high-end will generally have worked with others previously and received testimonials from their clients if they were happy. Check them out!
3. Ask friends
Ask around. You’ll find lots of friends, family or colleagues that will have worked with a coach or mentor. Ask around in the groups you are in for a recommendation for what you are looking for.
Sounds obvious, but always make sure you check through the contract and are happy with it all. If you aren’t let them know. A coach or mentor shouldn’t start work with you before a contract is signed.
5. Be Clear
Know what you are looking for from this experience. You need to be clear about your expectations and what you’d like by the end of your time together.
6. Avoid Fake Promises
We’ve all seen the promises from coaches of making £20k in 20 days. In my opinion, nobody can make you a financial promise. The coach can explain how they have done things and what worked for them and even show you how they have done things. But you need to do the work and take the action and there are no guarantees.
They need to be authentic and that will come across when you are speaking with them or looking around at their videos etc.
7. Book A Chat
Always have a relaxed chat with the coach you are thinking of working with. It helps you understand what they are about and how they can help you. If it doesn’t feel right, then avoid. Also, don’t be forced into agreeing on the phone to anything if that isn’t good for you. Yes, we all love a client being happy to sign up straight away, but you are entitled to have a think about it too.
8. Avoid Promises Without Proof
Some coaches like to share their results, especially financial to show us what they are doing. Now, this doesn’t bother me as such, I find it quite inspiring. However, I know a lot of colleagues can’t stand it. What I would say is to be aware of financial results being shared without proof to back up the claims. If a coach does this it doesn’t mean they are dodgy of course, just something to be aware of. Do they have integrity? Have they got results before?
Business Coaches or mentors that are offering this help without ever having owned a business before this doesn’t quite sit well with me. Again, this is my opinion, but when I am looking for a business coach, I like them to have had a business previously to this one. Again with a mindset coach if they are constantly having a moan, then they are probably not for me.
The coaching industry is unregulated so you don’t need to have specific training, but some experience at what they are teaching is a definite must for me!
Do they show integrity in what they believe? Do they practice what they preach and do you love what they stand for?
I’ve seen posts from coaches that promise you one thing, then the next day show a post that completely contradicts what they’ve just said. We can all change our mind occasionally, but look out for anyone not showing their true colours.
What do I do?
As mentioned I’m a business mentor helping female entrepreneurs. I’ve started various businesses, grown them and sold some too.
Does this make me the right fit for everyone? Absolutely not.
Before working with anyone as a mentor, I like to have a chat and see that we are a good fit. That my skills are what the person is looking for and that they are ready to work with a mentor.
If you’d like to book in for a free 30min call to discuss working together, click the link below
Before we start, I will warn you that this is a long post. It’s about my journey and struggles as a woman in business, juggling all the tasks that come as part and parcel of being a business owner and how I eventually spent less time working in my business and more time on me and my business. This post was first published in Summer 2016, I have since updated it to where I now am.
Start of my journey
I think I always knew that I wanted to work for myself. From a young age, I loved money and what it could buy me and I loved working. My mum would pay us 20p to do little jobs to help around the house and I was always more than willing to help out. By the time I was 12, I had my first real job on Sunday lunchtime at an aunt’s pub, washing dishes in the kitchen. I loved the satisfaction that I got from earning my own wage. I’m very ambitious and have always wanted more, so it came as no surprise when after my A levels at school, I felt there wasn’t a university course that particularly appealed to me.
My First Business
I left school and got my first job. Having a steady wage was great, I bought a car and life was going well. I worked for around 8 months when my Mum & Dad came home one day and asked if I’d be interested in buying a local business- a sandwich bar. I didn’t need to be asked twice and jumped at the opportunity. My dad- who had been self-employed for much of my childhood, along with my mum ran a little shop around the corner from the sandwich bar at the time and I was hugely excited about having my own business. I jumped in with 2 feet and absolutely loved it. I wasn’t so keen on being a manager though- I only had a few girls help out, but found it difficult, having been in school less than a year previous- to managing staff. The first time I had to let someone go- I was terrified! Talk about stepping outside your comfort zone.
I introduced a few new ideas to the sandwich bar. I started a catering business for children’s parties on the side- they were awful to tell you the truth! I also started a morning delivery round, around the local business parks- delivering to all the men at the factories- I often think back at what a bolshie 19-year old I was! I didn’t care and had little fear, I had a fantastic attitude. After a couple of years running this business, I felt it wasn’t enough and the option came up to sub-lease a second shop in the city centre- which again- I just went for. This was a tough time. Trying to do everything myself, as I hugely struggled with delegation and tried to do it all myself, burning myself out in the process. I’d get to the shop early, make loads of baguettes up, go out and do the first load of deliveries to all the factories, then come back to the first shop (which a staff member would have opened), then down to the 2nd shop, make more baguettes and sandwiches up and walk around to some banks and other shops in the city centre delivering there too. I’d then go back to the first shop and do the lunch rush there, go down to the 2nd shop do lunch rush there, then lock them both up and clean at the end of the day- so I was pretty exhausted when the day came to an end! At the end of the 3-month period, the 2nd shop wasn’t financially viable with the high city rates, so, with a heavy heart, I decided not to take it on permanently.
Time to move on?
After 3 years of running this business, the itchy feet were starting to kick in. Around this same time, I went on holiday for a week and left the running of the shop with the staff. I really looked after my staff- they always had free food, wages early if they needed helping out etc., but the lady that had been with me the longest and who I trusted, really let me down. I arrived home from my holiday and went straight to the shop- I told the lady who was working to go home and I’d cash up. She acted really strange and told me to that she’d do it. I had a gut feeling that something just wasn’t right, but pushed it away. I went home with the takings for the day and things just didn’t add up- that gut feeling was back and deep down I knew that my employee had been stealing from the till. The next day, I left her at the shop and went on my deliveries. When I did a till reading after deliveries- my suspicions were confirmed – that she had been taking cash from the till. I was absolutely devastated. Well actually I was evil angry to start with- after what I had done for her, she had the disrespect to steal from me. It really did break my heart and from that day, I lost my mojo for the business. I decided I wanted more so decided that I’d go back into employment. I sold the sandwich bar-, which made me really proud that I had sold it and made a profit. It was sold for more than I’d paid for it, so after paying my mum & dad back what I owed them, I went and bought a new car- with a big down payment- a convertible Peugeot 206cc- and I loved it!
Employment lasted a few years, from retail to sales, but as time went on my yearning to work for myself again was there. During my time in sales, I met my now husband and on our first holiday together, we discussed how we’d love to start another business- he too had run various businesses before we got together. At the end of 2 weeks in the Portuguese sun, we had decided on a guesthouse. We figured it was a fantastic lifestyle choice for when we had children (my husband already had 3 children too), so as soon as we got back from holiday the search was on. We spent all spare minutes researching guesthouses in the area and viewing houses and businesses. We viewed a house that wasn’t a guesthouse at the time but put in a cheeky offer and it was accepted! God only knows how we got that deposit together, but we managed to do it and on the day we got the keys we walked into this huge house and thought what the hell have we just done! It needed so much work to get it to a stage of being ready for guests. We had to build and install 3 en-suites for a start! By now, I was also 4 months pregnant, so we were both working, I was pregnant, had a whole house renovation and a business to build from scratch. We had ceilings falling down, nails in water pipes- the lot, but after my husband and dad took 3 months off work to get stuck in, we started to see the progress and the guesthouse was ready. Our very first booking- 3 months after buying the property was a booking for all 3 of our guest rooms for the weekend. It was so scary and nerve-wracking- wanting to get it all right- but we did it! We saw loads of guests come and go in the space of the 5 years we owned it, but with 2 babies arriving during that time- so 5 in total when all the children were with us- it was manic. We lived in one-half of the property and the stress was awful at times, with screaming babies and young kids arguing. The idyllic thoughts we had of running a guesthouse alongside our growing family, was a far cry from idyllic!
We had so many learns along the way and juggling a life, as a business owner with children was just the start. I was so glad to sell after 5 years, but no matter what, we had achieved what we set out to do- which was to be able to bring the children up, whilst bringing in an income, without me having to go back to employment!
Alongside the guesthouse, I set up various online businesses selling SD cards, jewellery, cosmetics, self-tan, and some funky LED clocks I started importing 100’s of from China. Crazy times to say the least! One Christmas I literally sold around 500 of these clocks that I had tracked constantly from China, packed them all myself with the kids and turned up at the post office with bags full every day. I think this is where I really started my love affair with the internet.
When we had sold the guesthouse, I had a couple of months to start a new business. I knew I wouldn’t go back into employment and knew I wanted to do something from home, around the kids. So after much thought, I decided that I loved Shabby Chic & Vintage gifts & homeware, that’s what I’d do. I called the business ihearthomes. I literally started posting on Facebook a few times a day with my £500 worth of stock that I’d bought from a wholesaler that I’d found and asking people if they were interested. I’d get people ask for a PayPal invoice and for months that’s how I’d sell. The FB page grew in popularity and I also set up a website myself, and after Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and Youtube. The first Christmas in business I came across some hessian sacks that were being sold by a wholesaler called East Of India, I loved them and ordered around 50. They went crazy and sold out within a few days. I knew I was onto something and between eBay, Facebook, but mainly Amazon, I went on to sell a couple of 1000 that Christmas. My home – that was only small had boxes of hessian Christmas sacks in every room and the mess would get everywhere! The business was growing!
As it was growing so fast we decided to move to a larger house, where I had a large office and stock room, and later another stock room too. I had stacking shelves all around and a packing bench where I packed and sent all the parcels out. Christmas was crazy- I remember one day when I had staff helping me packing a total of 126 parcels in one day- it was mental and I loved every minute of it. I worked crazy hours, as most entrepreneurs do and worked my socks off trying to make this business be as successful as I could. I tried selling handbags and purses, which at first were really popular. I sold a fair few 100, but that seemed to dry up. At another stage, I tried selling vintage dresses by Lindy Bop and others. Again another really hard time, so many sales- that was great, but as we are all different shapes and sizes, you’d also get lots of returns-, which was not so great. So after a few months, I knocked those on the head too!
After a year or so at this house, I was massively outgrowing the office and stock room so decided to bite the bullet and lease a small unit. I’d hit the VAT threshold sometime before and had so much stock, that my house was once again being taken over. Talk about a hard move- I had so much stuff crammed into my house and when we moved it all into the unit- it was quickly apparent that it was virtually full straight away too!
I remember coming up with a concept for a subscription box (which at the time were relatively new in the UK) of gifts. I couldn’t see anyone else doing it at the time and thought I have to do this. It was the first of the month in 2 days time and I worked tirelessly to get it launched in 2 days time. It was a huge success and my aim in month 1 was to sell 50 – I sold 66 boxes and I was so chuffed and proud of my achievement. This continued to grow but my real aim was 1000 boxes-, which I never quite reached, unfortunately.
After a few months at the unit, It was so full, I needed more room desperately, so moved to a unit double the size and a bit more, around the corner. The business, by this time, had grown quite considerably and was taking up a lot of my time. I worked lots of house and literally ate, breathed and slept ihearthomes. At the same time, I realised that social media was a huge part of my business and went to university for the first time to study a Foundation Degree in Social Media- gaining a merit. Very annoyed that I didn’t get a distinction!
My social media really was the main source of traffic for my business and I spent a small fortune on FB ads, as they really worked for me and brought me more business and traffic. Alongside FB, I started IG, YouTube videos each month, Pinterest and Twitter.
For, me, as the FB algorithm started changing, IG became a bigger source of traffic and sales and many of my customers found me through there. I really loved social media! I’m still hugely passionate about it and what it can do for your business. At the end of my time with ihearthomes I had over 144k FB ‘likes’, 21.5k IG followers, then a fair number on the others too!
Highs of 2015
My highlights were in 2015, I had moved to the larger unit, I had won a business award- Business Boost award at the Mumpreneur awards, which was amazing and made me feel so proud of my achievements. I also went to China, with my husband on a business trip. We went to Canton Fair, a huge fair that has 1000’s of wholesalers attend for you to see what you’d like to buy. I set up a presence in China and had ‘Chinese offices’ so the company that we paid to work with us, could speak directly to the wholesalers we had met at the fair and get some quotes from them, with the aim of importing directly from China. All very exciting and was a trip of a lifetime.
As the business was growing, looking back, I probably wasn’t. Still a huge control freak, I struggled to let anyone in. It was my baby; my business and I wanted to do it all. Deep down, I knew that in order to grow, I needed help but I found it so hard to hand over. I had one lovely girl that had been working for me for some time since I was at the house, who I trusted completely, she was fab and was a joy to have around. She was more than happy to get on and loved her job packing all the parcels to post out to customers.
I had a few other part-time staff members at this time, none of which worked out. Again, I wasn’t a fan of managing staff! But for me, it took a long time to realise that in order to grow I had to have help and start to outsource.
Losing my ‘mojo’
On the surface, the business was going great guns, and I can’t tell you what changed, but something did and I lost my ‘mojo’. The business had had a few quieter months than usual and that affected my mood. I became quite withdrawn and anxious. Looking back, I can see that it was probably me that had some blocks and mindset issues first, then the business was affected. I had some things that really affected me – again as much as I like to think I’m strong, which I am, I’m also very emotional and things really hurt. I had a company that copied my every move. As much as I could try and put it off as a sign of flattery, it really upset me. The company at times literally copied every word of mine on Facebook posts, the website was very similar and low and behold, a few months after I launched my subscription box- happymail, they launched theirs, with some of the items the exact same items as mine. It felt like a blow to the stomach- all my ideas, my hard work and someone could just come along and replicate like for like was soul destroying. I had to seek legal help at one point and he told me he had never seen such a blatant case of copying in all his years as a copyright and intellectual property solicitor. I’m not going to harp on about that, but it did really get me down. I know it was my issue to overcome and to some extent, it drove me onwards and motivated me, but at times when my mindset wasn’t as strong, it felt like a constant battle to overcome.
Selling my ‘baby’
In Spring 2016, I was feeling completely miserable and was no longer enjoying the business. Luckily, I have a supportive husband and after a few heart to hearts, we decided it was time I sold the business. I listed the business and within a couple of weeks I had had over 36 enquiries. I’m naturally a very positive person, but at the time was struggling with my value and self-worth a little and this was a lovely feeling, that this amount of people were interested in the business that I had started from scratch!
The 1st people that viewed loved it – and later told me they were about to offer, however the 2nd person to view loved it too and the next day made an offer, that I accepted. On one proviso, not being the type of person with much patience, I wanted the sale to be completed within a month, in time for the start of the summer holidays so I could have the summer off with my children.
Luckily, the lady that was buying it was lovely and we got on like a house on fire. She came and spent time with me and we completed the sale at the end of July. It was a scary time that I felt hugely out of my comfort zone but also a time that I could look at something that I started as successful. I had started this business from scratch and sold it 4 years later.
Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like a success, I felt like a failure in some ways that I had stopped loving the business, and it took many months to get past these blocks in myself.
Starting a new business
Before I sold, I had decided that it would be amazing to continue working within social media as that was and still is where my passion lies. I also have another passion, I love helping people too. I always have done throughout all my jobs and businesses- customer service was also hugely important to me and I loved nothing better than having a happy customer. I had realised late in my business that I couldn’t do it all. I was always trying to juggle work and home life and often felt guilty for my children, guilty that I wasn’t spending enough time with them, guilty if I wasn’t working, it was a constant battle. As most mums will know!
I decided I’d like to be able to help all these other women that were like me. The ones that knew what they needed doing and realised that they needed some help, but who didn’t want full-time staff. I started building a website myself and setting up a business in the background but didn’t realise at the time, that this role existed as a Virtual Assistant. I could offer a helping hand to all these people that like me, that needed some help and I had the skills and the experience from all the businesses I had run and sold to help them. I set up as a VA and then decided that rather than a typical VA, I’d specialise in the online business side of things. I like to help entrepreneurs improve their online presence through social media & associated tasks, which saves them stress and time.
After ihearthomes had sold, I took most of the summer off to be with my children and really started knuckling down to build this business in October of 2016.
It has been a time of many learns and opportunities and I’m constantly learning every day and more importantly growing myself. I have spent a lot of time on my mindset and myself and I still get really wobbly days now. I realised that selling ihearthomes affected me more than I realised at the time and it took me a long while to move on from it. I didn’t miss it, but I missed having a structure to know what I was doing each day, and I definitely missed the constant income!
Deciding on more of a niche
In January 2017, I realised that my passion lies with working with women specifically. Women who were just like me, trying to juggle all the tasks they have to do to not just keep a business going but to grow a business. Work on the business, not just in the business, as so many entrepreneurs do. Since I have made the decision to work with women, I have started to attract more women through enquiries. I changed my website to suit me and the clients I’d like to attract- it’s much more feminine (as you’ll notice). I also decided that I don’t want to be anything other than me. I want my clients to like me for me and work with me for me- nothing else. I’m not the type of person that gels well with many ‘corporate types’ because I am what I am. I’m positive, full of energy, talk too fast, not particularly well spoken, but I do have the experience of running various businesses and have learned so much along the way. Skills that I am happy to share with other female entrepreneurs in their pursuit to grow their businesses.
Where I’m at
Apologies for the ultra long story and thank you if you have managed to stick with it until the end!
I like to work 1:1 with just a few VIP female clients that can have more of my time, attention and brain! I love brainstorming with clients about ideas they may have to grow their businesses. And I love being on that journey with them, by their side. I’m continuing to grow my new business too and I’ll always be considering adding new ideas. If you are a kick-ass female entrepreneur who knows they need help if they are to grow their business, that also realises that in order to grow, you need your team to understand the juggles and the pressures being a business owner have, get in touch. I’m not looking to work with clients that are playing at this and who want 5 hours of my time, I’m looking for amazing like-minded ladies that know what they want and are ready to go after it, with me helping the process. I can’t guarantee you’ll be completely stress-free, but I can guarantee that you’ll feel less guilty about things, as we’ll be achieving more together, you’ll have more time as I’ll be dealing with so much more for you and you’ll be free to do what you do best. That may be going and finding extra clients for you that may be spending more time with your family or more time for you, all of which are equally important. I want ladies that value their time and know their worth. Being in business is a roller coaster- ups and downs, but isn’t it so much more fun, when someone is sat by your side!
6 Months later (Early 2018)
Since originally writing this story on my blog, I have been featured as a co-author in Mumpreneur On Fire, which became an Amazon No.1 Bestseller within 24hrs.
I have also been featured twice on Thrive Global as a contributor.
I am now offering business mentoring to women starting out in business, or who are ready to take the next step to up their game and learn the skills they need to succeed as well as have the help & support they require.
If you’d like to see how I can help you, take a look at my mentor page
Jennifer Chamberlin is a Bilingual Virtual Assistant. She lives in France and speaks fluent French and English.
“I launched My Bilingual VA in 2016 after working as a Personal / Executive Assistant in Paris for 15 years. I grew up in England but was always passionate about Europe and learning foreign languages. When I began my first fulltime job in Disneyland Paris in 1999, I knew it was the beginning of a new life in France. Now completely bilingual, I’m equally comfortable in both cultures.”
Dijana is a small town girl from Ljubljana, Slovenia with big big dreams, big heart, and big balls , sometimes a bit crazy but conscious mum, a loving wife, awesome friend, sister, and daughter and badass entrepreneur. She has a big vision and strong and powerful mission to bring health, happiness and freedom into lives of 10.000 mums by the year of 2020.
Her biggest love whatsoever are kids and her 3 daughters are her drive to set big goals and to enjoy comfortable life without stress. Work-life balance is therefore extremely important and as an entrepreneurially minded woman, she always had the vision to own a business, to have an opportunity to achieve her own dreams, not somebody else’s. To be able to work under her own conditions, where, when and with whom she wants.
Her entrepreneurial skills and experiences go back to 2003 when she started her first business with Fashion accessories retail stores. In addition, she complemented professional skills with a bachelor degree in entrepreneurship and postgraduate Master program in Management at Faculty of Economics University of Ljubljana. Additionally, she has studied at Stockholm University Business Institute, after she moved to Stockholm in 2013. A polyglot of 7 languages who loves the most language of happiness and gratitude.
One of her biggest passion is to help mums to achieve that ultimate work-life balance, to live life without stress and to pursue their dreams. She lives and leads by D’s 5:5 rule: “Don’t spend more than 5 minutes on things that won’t matter in 5 years”.
To work under your own terms is a big stress-relief if you have a clear vision, strong mission and have a plan and guts to pursue your dreams.
As a global Wellness and Business coach and Goal Mapping practitioner, she is helping mums to find purpose, to discover their mission and to make achievable goals for healthier, happier and life of ultimate freedom. Her Time Management Mastery & High Productivity Performance tools packed with holistic approach will help you to gain clarity, create massive action plan and focus on things that really matter in life and business.
So today is, apparently the bluest day of the year, aptly named blue Monday.
It’s my birthday tomorrow and this day fell on my actual birthday last year and it always falls pretty close, so I’ve never been a fan of this term!
What is Blue Monday?
Scientists have put together various factors to come up with this- the most depressing day of the year. It’s a mixture of over-indulging at Christmas, both in terms of health and finances, the bad weather and the feeling of a ‘come-down’ after the Christmas chaos. Many people at this time of year are struggling with debt and not knowing how they’ll manage to pay it, failing our New Years Resolutions, feeling a general lack of motivation and overall a little bit rubbish!
A friend of mine messaged today to say she was feeling particularly rubbish and had spent some time crying – now we all get down from time to time, and that’s absolutely fine. But it’s about being able to have tools in our kit to be able to deal with these little lows that get us back up again!
Among, other things, I’ve managed to help put a smile on my friends face, so thought I’d share some tips and try to help you all when you are having a blugghhhh day too!
Tips to overcome feeling down
This has been scientifically proven, that just the act of smiling can lift our mood. It changes brain chemistry which sends good feelings and can help turn that frown upside down!
2. Have a dance
Try being down whilst having a good boogie, it’s really hard to do! Pull out your all-time favourite songs (something upbeat of course!) and feel your mood lifting!
3. Go for a walk
This works for a lot of people. Just the act of getting outside in nature can help clear your head and make us feel happier.
I know loads of people that swear by exercise to help lift their moods. There is a change in chemicals in the brain to support this theory when endorphins are released.
Make a list of all the things that you have in your life that you are grateful for. Do you have a roof over your head, water, electricity, gas central heating, clothes, food etc? By making a list, it makes you put things in perspective.
6. Watch a funny film
Laughter relieves stress, helps to heal and exercises parts of our body.
You make think this isn’t for you, but try it. The power of mindset work is amazing. If you haven’t tried it, now is as good a time as ever to start!
Write down’ I love myself because…….’ write down 20 things
Then write down ‘I am proud of myself because….. ‘ again 20 things
Then consider writing an affirmation out 20 times such as ‘I completely believe in my ability to succeed’ or say it out loud to yourself or whilst looking in a mirror.
Or watch a happy or motivational video on Youtube- works wonders!
8. Speak to someone
As the old saying goes, a problem halved is a problem shared. Speak to your other half, a close friend, family member or someone else you trust. Often they can put a different spin on things and add a different perspective for you.
9. Get some sun
Ok, so this one isn’t always available, but if it is- absorb as much sunshine as you can get- it’s a huge mood lifter and for me something that is so important to me. It’s one of my favourite things in life and why you’ll often catch me looking at (and booking!) holidays!
10. Get help
If your mood isn’t just a funk you’re in for a day or two, but for a much longer period of time, then you may need help. This can start with looking at exercise, drinking more water, eating better foods or speaking to someone such as a doctor. Never be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
I hope these tips have helped a little. What do you do when you are feeling a little low?
This week I caught up with the lovely Rebecca Ahern.
Rebecca Ahern works with professional women who want to build successful careers and fulfilled lives with less stress and more balance.
About Rebecca Ahern
For ten years I worked as a senior exec and leader in one of the largest and most diverse sales and marketing businesses in the UK. I experienced personally and witnessed first-hand, the pressures that face ambitious individuals today. We know we can have it all but we’re just not quite sure how we’re going to do it all.
Well, that’s where I went a bit wrong. I thought to have it all, I had to do it all. My life became increasingly complex and stressful, all in pursuit of the dream. Then when I achieved the dream and wasn’t happy, I realised I must have got the formula wrong somewhere along the way.
As a result, and after much trial and error, I developed an approach that saw me flourish in my career and my life and eventually set up my own business. My approach is based on a radical self-discovery and ongoing self-awareness that banishes insecurity and allows us to live with a feeling of control, balance and with authenticity.
You won’t find any ‘fluff’ here. No dancing around the point. We’ll laugh and we’ll work hard. Together, we will set you on a path to success, fulfilment, health and happiness so you can get on with living the best version of your life.
If you love Insta and haven’t seen the latest update (they are always making updates), then have a watch of my short video below. Screenshots are also below, showing you what I’m talking about!
As you probably know, hashtags are hugely important to reach your ideal clients and audience. Every day people will go and search for the type of content they are looking for via searching for that hashtag. So by using the hashtags that you think your audience are looking for, you increase your chances of being found.
You have always been able to click through from a # that you or someone else uses to see other IG users using that hashtag, or you’ve been able to go to the search and explore section and look up a particular hashtag that way. Either way, you’ll be able to find the particular content that you are interested in.
The explore section is usually a little random to say the least, with some content that is suited to you, some that is not something you’d go looking for, but you find yourself being engrossed in and other posts are just not suited to you at all.
However, the latest update allows you to tailor the type of content that you are looking to follow and your feed becomes much more specific to you. You can even train the tool to fine-tune the content that you like.
To show how much you like the content- give it a like or a comment and IG will show you even more of that type of post. They will select a collection from that # and show you in your main feed.
If you don’t like a post, click on the 3 dots on the top right-hand corner and you can choose to let IG know that you don’t like it. It’ll learn to not show you that type of post again. Clever- aye!
The more you help Insta learn about what you do and don’t like, the more it’ll learn what to show you more of.
Let me know how you get on with this and the screenshots are below!
Watch my video of the new # feature
Here is the new feature. When you first click on a hashtag, you’ll see this message pop up.
Click got it and you’ll see a blue ‘follow’ button for your selected hashtag. Click follow to follow that hashtag.
You’ll start seeing more posts in your feed with the # that you have chosen to follow. This can still be varied even without that #, so you can fine-tune the tool to learn what you’d like to see more or less of. If you decide you’d like to see less of a certain type of post, click on the menu button of a post- the 3 dots in the right-hand corner.
Then simply click on ‘See fewer posts like this’.
If you like what you see- send the post some love, either double clicking to send it a red heart or even better, leaving a comment. Insta will then know you like what you are seeing!
Do you ever check if you are in the top 9 for a certain hashtag? All you need to do is click on a particular hashtag that you use and you’ll be taken through to the page above. The top 9 are the top posts using that hashtag, then the ones below are the most recent uses.
The top 2 posts on this screenshot above are both mine, so I know that two posts are in the top 9 posts for that hashtag of over 34,000 posts. Take a look at yours, you’ll often see your posts in the top 9 that you didn’t even know existed!
The top posts are now hugely important to this new rollout. When people go over to follow a hashtag, what is the first thing they’ll see? Yes, the top 9 and you want to be in that section. You’ll increase your exposure and increase your following!